Intercultural communication is important in today's diverse world, as it is in a multicultural university environment such as NUS. Common miscommunications occur when individuals are not aware of each other's culture. This can cause conflict and hard feelings. In 2006, the plane brought me onto this island where I had to face different cultures. I have become more open to different cultural traditions and norms. However, sometimes I can still feel the culture shock when the westerners, especially French in this specific case, behaved very differently according to the oriental understanding.
About two years ago, there was an event conducted by NUS Office of Student Affairs. It was an international student event which took place in NUS campus, and you could get the chance to interact with people from different nations. I enjoyed the whole process; I talked with different people, coming from Australia, France, Canada, Laos, and of course, China. At the end of the event, people waived their hands to say goodbye to each other. At the point of time, our two emcees appeared on our stage. A pretty Indian girl in Sari was waving her hands to say goodbye to a group of students from France. However, the French guys seemed unsatisfied by simply waving hands. A blond guy stepped out of his group of friends and kissed the Indian girl to say goodbye ( cheek kissing) !!! The Indian girl was shocked, pushed the guy away and stared at him fiercely. The poor blond guy puzzled and was confused about what happened at that moment.
I, as an observer and a passer-by, could deeply understand both sides. In the girl's perspective, the guy's behavior was seriously offending her and she could not understand how he dared kissing her-- just a stranger who met each other at the very first time! In the guy's point of view, the fierce staring from the girl scared him but his act was extremely normal according to the French society. Neither side was wrong, but neither side reacted appropriately. I was slightly shocked by the outcome of the friendly kiss, it seriously damaged the friendly atmosphere we had just created. Goodbye kiss is not wrong, but, cheek kissing killed their friendship and connection. However, in this situation, I thought I might not push the innocent away, but I might feel as shocked and uncomfortable as the girl did.
This is just a drop of water in the sea. It is important to understand the cultural norms of each other to be avoid intercultural conflicts. Training and knowledge are important ways to resolve these problems and prevent these problems from occurring again.
Hi Yitong,
ReplyDeleteYour post has shown how cultural differences can result in conflict. It is a very clear post here however, i think it is not very concise. You could have describe the conflict in greater detail to make it even more interesting.
I think you used the wrong word "waived" in your post. I think it should be "waved" instead. =)
Hi garfield!
ReplyDeleteWhat a deadly kiss indeed?!
It may be the failure of the preparation program at the origin country of the person. He may not have done the necessary research and education on the region that he will be visiting. The onus is on him to behave responsibly in a foreign land.
A quick comment on your post: it may not be very concise but I guess it is quite hard to take out any more info in a situational description such as this.
"how he dared kissing her" - how he dared to kiss
My dearest Hello Kitty,
ReplyDeleteInteresting topic! Kissing on the cheek is quite intimate in the Asian culture, so I can understand the girl's reaction (though I may not have stared at him so fiercely, LOL).
I believe that no matter what culture we are in, if we were to do something that requires physical contact, it is best to ask the other party if they are comfortable with it. Better safe than sorry. Asking questions will also help us learn more about the other culture.
Thank you, Yitong, for introducing this incident. You describe the scenario quite well, providing a sort of running commentary about the cultural implications. Yes indeed, this is a clear cut case of differing values and norms. Where I disagree a bit with you is when you state that there is some sort of generally agreed commonality between Westerners and, in opposition, Asians.
ReplyDeletecan we make such a generalization accurately? Where do Indians fit in that scheme? What about Asian Americans? What about Singaporeans of European descent? What about Turks or others whose homes are on the border of Asia and Europe?
In your post you even state that the French guy's behavior is acceptable in Western society, but that is simply not true in ALL Western societies.
So how to avoid such overgeneralizing and stereotyping?
What would you suggest?
There are also some language issues here:
1) so did in a local multi-cultural university like NUS >>> as it is in a multicultural university environment such as NUS
2) Since 2006 >>> In 2006
3) ...when the westerners behaved very differently according to the oriental understanding. >>> when the Westerners behave very differently from local norms. (I'm generally opposed to the idea that "Westerners" are somehow a homogenous group as opposed to "Asians." This is mainly because amongst Asians and Westerners there is such great variations that to assign some sort of commonality based on geography is quite a stretch.)
4) our two main roles >>> our main two emcees (?)
5) , however, >>> . However,
6) The poor blond guy puzzled and got confused >>> The poor blond guy WAS confused
7) just now. >>> at that moment.
8) with her controversial cultural background >>> huh? what's controversial about being Indian?
9) according to the western society. >>> Here you overgeneralize, as I said. In many parts of America a woman would be just as shocked by an attempted kiss in that situation as the Indian girl was.
Don't get me wrong. I appreciate your post because you have raised some important points, not only the one that you thought you were raising. Let's talk about this in class. Please remind me.
Why is she hello kitty and nobody dear Daniel me?? :( ahaha!!! Anyways!!! I think the most basic thing would be to know what to expect when dealing with people from different cultures. If we’re not prepared we might be the ones staring at others!! Also like mentioned, we need to be careful as not everyone we know may shall the same values as us cultural or otherwise. That guy should alos have been more sensitive as to where and on whom he planted his kiss on.. ha.. I think it was more of an oversight on himself as to expect people to embrace his “goodbyes” as he would. And did you “PRETTY Indian girl” there to emphasis something? Haha.. that maybe he did it intentionally?? =D but I do think that a little leeway should be allowed when integrating with people from difference cultures. All the best with your deadly kiss when you go on exchange.. * muah*
ReplyDeleteoh and a little alignment and maybe some spacing would make it a little easier to read.. ahaha!! =D
ReplyDeleteGood point, Daniel, about the alignment and spacing. Yitong, I hope you can make the appropriate changes.
ReplyDeleteHi Yitong,
ReplyDeleteI think it would be more pleasant to the eye if you can leave a space after each paragraph. =)
@Stanley: Haha, thank you thank you so much for patiently remind me of this point~haha
ReplyDelete@Daniel:
ReplyDeleteHaha, dear Daniel~~haha, don be so jealous la if I call u pretty hello kitty I sware u don want to see me ever....haha
Thank u very much to point out the shortage of this post~I guess I need to spend more effort to improve my language so that I could write a good narrowtive essay~haha
Hi My dearest May,
ReplyDeleteI indeed agree with your point and actually currently I am a bit nervous since next sem I am going to france for the SEP...I sincerely hope they will not treat me like that...haha
@Brad:
ReplyDeleteHi Brad, thank you very much for pointing out the shortage of my language and some misuse of the words, I have edited it and again~haha thank u for your patience~
Yt
@Yong Xin: Haha, it may be not that difficult, just because I am not very good at write a narrative essay in English...if in Chinese, things will be better haha
ReplyDeleteHello dear, are you enjoying with this humorous YouTube video? Hmmm, that’s good, I am also watching this YouTube joke video at the moment.
ReplyDelete-----------
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